Where do you lie on the 'hardiness' scale below? I'll admit i need at least a 6 if i'm going to get a good night's sleep - though have been known to get away with a 2 on occasion (the single malt helps).

1 - Rock. Where there's no other option but to pitch on bare rock. The least comfortable of any method, plus the insecurity that you might tear the ground sheet at every turn. And did you tie the tent to enough rocks??? You'll need a really thick sleeping bag and/or a good dose of single malt to sleep through this one.

2 - Any other natural surface (bar water in the liquid state). For real hard core uber-lightweighters who scoff at the soft pansies who need a sleeping mat of any description, including No.3. Of course, you could be talking about compacted soil that's nearly as hard as rock, or knee deep heather. I'm not going to be too picky.

3 - Bubble wrap. You want to go really lightweight but don't want to risk going without a sleeping mat... Also useful for posting off those last minute Duran Duran memorabilia you've just sold on EBay.

4 - The Traditional Karrimat. Barely a molecule thick, this is a staple of DofE expeditions everywhere. Sometimes surprisingly heavy for what you get. Great for extending the height of your pack so it's well above head height, when a low, discreet pack just won't cut it. Doubles up as a sledge or a yoga mat. Arguably though as comfortable as a bag of spoons.

5 - The Thermarest and all it's copies... Alpkit do a decent, cheap self-inflating mat. Usually the next step from those who decide that No.4 isn't enough for them, and usually lasts one trip as it's strapped to the top of the pack and ends up snagging every barbed wire fence on the trip. Gives a good night's sleep if it doesn't move about too much during the night and you again end up on surface No.2 for 3 out of every 4 hours. Best use is for those who like to take inflatable companions with them on the hill, they can just shout, "Just inflating the Thermarest... Wink wink".

6 - The Down Mat... mmmmm... Exped do down mats like no other. As good as sleeping in a bed. Absolute luxury, and only a kilo. Might not want to get up in the morning though. They're also a faff to inflate, so after a hard day on the trail there's every chance that you'll be so tired after filling that you end up sleeping on No.2 anyway. If you're a restless sleeper, you'll possibly fall off as well. Can induce vertigo if you're used to sleeping on No.5 and means you're sleeping with the tent roof in your mouth for most of the night.

7 - A bed - bugger the camping. The YH might be a better bet if you want this sort of comfort.

1 - That fourth battery you absolutely had to find when you saw your first ever brocken spectre and your camera died on you...
2 - Kendal Mint Cake wrapper with some melted sweet still inside - despite the fact you never buy the stuff.
3 - That Mars bar that you wrapped in duct tape so you wouldn't eat it - but with a small hole cut and all the Mars bar squeezed out... You know who you are...
4 - Orange plastic whistle so completely full of lint that if ever you're in an emergency and you suck rather than blow, you're done for. May be replaced by large orange survival bag which when you attempt to open, turns out to be thirty squares of equally sized polythene...
5 - Map and compass as all you need is your sense of direction...
6 - Brick (See 3 above. Revenge is a dish best served cold, or should that be Gaspacho?)

Some of the worst poetry on Snowdonia....

Snowdon by Llanberis path
Would rather drown in my bath.

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Camping wild gives me the creeps...
Funny noises, probly sheeps...

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Brighten up Pen y pass car park.
Just needs some napalm and a spark...

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Cantilever
Jumpy Fever

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Scree and me you see are free to flee,

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
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Sphagnum moss, Sphagnum moss.
For wiping arses, it’s the boss.

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On the hill, eat jelly babies.
If they bite back, you’ll get rabies...

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Post your worst mountain poetry below...

It seems that ‘researchers’ have recently discovered that we don’t lose quite as much heat from the head as once thought. It seems that it was based on some erroneous research and sits as a prime example of what can become ‘fact’ if repeated often enough.

More a Balaclava than a hat... begging the question, is a Balaclava a cake or a biscuit?

Even so, it was concluded that you’d lose the same amount of heat from our heads as we would from any other un-covered part of the body. So even though they claim to debunk the claim that 40% of heat is lost through the head, you’ll still feel warmer with a bloody hat on.

Now they’ve achieved such a scientific breakthrough, I’m now wondering what it is that Year 3 at St David’s Primary School are going to do for a project in the Spring Term that builds on this great work?