The Hob Nob Chocolate Flapjack.

Moist and edible....

Like the union of Jelly Baby and caffeine, the union of chocolate and slow release carb is the holy grail of hill foods. Most flapjacks I’ve tried, i cannot finish. Starts off well, especially the bakewell flapjack i can get in my local Spar, but halfway you start to struggle and it end up like the chewing of sawdust, swallowing becomes nigh impossible. Finishing one is the equivelent of chewing four dry Weetabix.

Enter the Hob – Nob chocolate flap jack. Chocolate for the instant sugar rush, and slow release oats for sustained energy. If your body’s a place of worship, then they’re also available in a chocolate free variety (why??!!)

Ideal on paper, and it works in practice. Moist and most importantly, edible to the last. The large version can be a struggle towards the end, but then again you’re whacking a massive 350 calories into your body in a mere 65g of bar. If that thought leaves you quaking in your sandals, then there’s the five pack of smaller bars that are much more manageable.

These are a perfect hill food. They’ll do on those col stops when you just must eat something before you start slogging up hill again. They’ll provide you with a hearty, no messing breakfast. One bar has twice the calories of an Oats So Simple with a fraction of the hassle. Just open and scoff. Wash down with a hot chocolate or coffee. I’ve even taken to taking these as lunch on multi day walks, two of these is more than enough.

Plus points – Low hassle, super-high calorie hill food. Slow release carbs avoids the shugar rush. Indestructable - the photos are of my veteran bars, they’ve survived months in the bottom of a messy, well-used pack. Downer – one may be too much, never as appealing as a bar of chocolate or a Jelly Baby.

Why Jelly Babies have come of age...

Do you bite the head or feet?

When I started walking the hills, i thought that one of pieces of gear as vital as a map or a waterproof was the slab of Kendal Mint Cack (sorry ,cake). Had i known that surely the best hill food for sugar was the humble Jelly Baby! Beloved of fell runners who carry a handful of these in their bum bags (fanny packs to the Americans), where one jelly baby contains a similar amount of energy as one gramme of plutonium. Of course, just as the plutonium, one must know how to extract this explosive energy to make the most of it. On a rather tiring trip in Scottish deep snow, i swear they kept me alive!

Grab a half bagful in one go and all you’ll get is a horrible sugar rush, a brief spell of childish hyperactivity and then the inevitable cold turkey. No. The trick is to eat a few at a time, especially when you’re coming up to an uphill section. Nutritionally they’re not really balanced, but they’re not meant to be. They’re a little nitrous oxide boost in confectionary form and the "Jelly Baby Diet" isn’t one to be recommended.

Sugar rush...mmmm.....

Of course, the classic Jelly Baby is made by Bassetts; available in all sorts of pack sizes. From belly-busting 800g, down to tiny packs that are ideal for a short hill trip. The different colours have even got names, but that’s just silly if you ask me... For the budget conscious, Tesco, that all-encompassing Goliath Corp of the real world make a fine jelly baby for 43p a pack. Morrissons Jelly Babies aren’t quite as good, but still do the job.

I’m still awaiting the chimeric union of the pro-plus and the Jelly Baby. That would be unstoppable.

Plus-points - tasty, irresistable, plenty of fuel for the muscles. downers - overdose of these and suffer the dreaded lethargy after the sugar rush. You’ve got to share them with everyone else, so make sure you multiply the number of packs with the number of people in your party.