Tags: fun

Five Things you may find yourself sleeping on while wild camping....

by daveroberts Email

Where do you lie on the 'hardiness' scale below? I'll admit i need at least a 6 if i'm going to get a good night's sleep - though have been known to get away with a 2 on occasion (the single malt helps).


1 - Rock. Where there's no other option but to pitch on bare rock. The least comfortable of any method, plus the insecurity that you might tear the ground sheet at every turn. And did you tie the tent to enough rocks??? You'll need a really thick sleeping bag and/or a good dose of single malt to sleep through this one.

2 - Any other natural surface (bar water in the liquid state). For real hard core uber-lightweighters who scoff at the soft pansies who need a sleeping mat of any description, including No.3. Of course, you could be talking about compacted soil that's nearly as hard as rock, or knee deep heather. I'm not going to be too picky.

3 - Bubble wrap. You want to go really lightweight but don't want to risk going without a sleeping mat... Also useful for posting off those last minute Duran Duran memorabilia you've just sold on EBay.

4 - The Traditional Karrimat. Barely a molecule thick, this is a staple of DofE expeditions everywhere. Sometimes surprisingly heavy for what you get. Great for extending the height of your pack so it's well above head height, when a low, discreet pack just won't cut it. Doubles up as a sledge or a yoga mat. Arguably though as comfortable as a bag of spoons.

5 - The Thermarest and all it's copies... Alpkit do a decent, cheap self-inflating mat. Usually the next step from those who decide that No.4 isn't enough for them, and usually lasts one trip as it's strapped to the top of the pack and ends up snagging every barbed wire fence on the trip. Gives a good night's sleep if it doesn't move about too much during the night and you again end up on surface No.2 for 3 out of every 4 hours. Best use is for those who like to take inflatable companions with them on the hill, they can just shout, "Just inflating the Thermarest... Wink wink".

6 - The Down Mat... mmmmm... Exped do down mats like no other. As good as sleeping in a bed. Absolute luxury, and only a kilo. Might not want to get up in the morning though. They're also a faff to inflate, so after a hard day on the trail there's every chance that you'll be so tired after filling that you end up sleeping on No.2 anyway. If you're a restless sleeper, you'll possibly fall off as well. Can induce vertigo if you're used to sleeping on No.5 and means you're sleeping with the tent roof in your mouth for most of the night.

7 - A bed - bugger the camping. The YH might be a better bet if you want this sort of comfort.

Five Things you may find lurking in the bottom of your pack...

by daveroberts Email


1 - That fourth battery you absolutely had to find when you saw your first ever brocken spectre and your camera died on you...
2 - Kendal Mint Cake wrapper with some melted sweet still inside - despite the fact you never buy the stuff.
3 - That Mars bar that you wrapped in duct tape so you wouldn't eat it - but with a small hole cut and all the Mars bar squeezed out... You know who you are...
4 - Orange plastic whistle so completely full of lint that if ever you're in an emergency and you suck rather than blow, you're done for. May be replaced by large orange survival bag which when you attempt to open, turns out to be thirty squares of equally sized polythene...
5 - Map and compass as all you need is your sense of direction...
6 - Brick (See 3 above. Revenge is a dish best served cold, or should that be Gaspacho?)

He who walks alone...

by daveroberts Email

Laughs longest... na, that can’t be it?

Anyway, there’s probably plenty of endings to this one, some I can’t publish here. Instead, here’s a few good reasons why going in the hills alone can be pretty cool.

1. You can go where you want. You can add another hill on, or take one off depending on how you feel. It’s totally up to you.

2. You can go at your own pace. I find i walk slower with others, probably as i’m always talking when going uphill and getting out of breath.

3. The quiet. More than silence. You’ll notice it the first time you walk alongside a mountain lake and you can hear a bird’s wings beat as it flies across the water. There’s no doubt you’ll see more wildlife alone (or in a very quiet small group).

4. Nobody to nick your Jelly Babies. All that lovely food you take up with you is your and yours alone. It’s Mine i tell you! MINE!

5. Self-Reliance. It’s the best way of testing your hill skills. You depend on your own navigation and nobody else’s.

6. You can sing to yourself, if you want. Not that i do. Oh no.

7. No jostling for space in those awkward summmit shelters. "Get your hand off that! No it’s NOT my platy!"

8. If you get lost or fall over in a comic manner, you’ll have heard the last of it. Unlike my mate Mark, who’ll never hear the last of his Jesus moment when he tried to cross a bog by running across it and ending up waist deep! Laugh? I nearly forgot to pull him out..

9. Who said there was going to be 10?