G is for Gaiters. For many years only available in Red, now seen in a multitude of hues. However, the red versions have been scientifically proven to be indestructable, with probably 70 out of every 93 produced in the 70s still in use every weekend across bogs in the Berwyn, Dark Peak, Monadhliath and any other wet area you care to mention. It is generally agreed that the mid-late 20th century decline of the gaiter closely follows the fall in power of the trade union. Strange, but true, and yet another unexpected consequence of rampant capitalism.

V is for F. V is how the ‘F’ in Welsh should be pronounced. In Welsh, you need two effs to make an eff. Now that’s clear, anyone who still insists on saying ‘Tryffin’ can vuck off...

Y –Youth Hostels – Which have ventured so far from their original goal. You’re more likely to encounter a hairy biker than a hiking youth in them these days. Any youths will be found by the multitude – usually taking up 56 of the 57 beds in the hostel that you thought you were lucky to get a last minute bed in. More often than not, theyll be found outside playing football in the car park using renaults for goalposts while their teachers lock themselves in the common room with a well deserved bottle of single malt.