B – Has to be BEER... Despite science’s best efforts to produce a better recovery drink, Beer remains the one and only fluid suitable for replenishing the body and soul after a day on the hill. Not any old beer mind you, it has to be quality beer you can chew. Shandy on the other hand, is ideal as a mid-day drink on a ramble as a hydrating drink.

C – Is for Cantilever. That precariously balanced slab of rock on Glyder Fach that countless rambling clubs, school parties and university climbing societies have attempted to topple. Along with “Adam and Eve” and “git who walked in front of my camera on Snowdon” this is third in the trinity of essential cheesy snaps for any walking holidaymaker to Snowdonia.

F – Is for False Summit. Or Another F**** False Summit as it is more commonly known. These are the bane of the hill walker. Even previously well known hills, especially in mist, can suddenly turn traitor and keep you thinking you’re there.... but you’re not.... even.......close....

Readers of the blog may be interested to hear that a windfarm is entering the public consultation phase, on the doorstep of Snowdonia on Mynydd Hiraethog. link

While an upland area - reaching over 500m - it isn't protected by National Park or AONB status, meaning if Mid Wales is anything to go by, they'll probably be passed. There's also a sweetener of £150k per year to the local community, obviously the monetary value of wilderness.

What it looks sans turbines....

Consider that, other than Eryri / Snowdonia, Beacons and the Clwydians, the upland areas in Wales have no protection. Are we to start seeing Pumlumon and Y Berwyn dug up in the near future?

R – Ron Hill Tracksters. The legwear of legends. It is a fact that nobody wearing Ron Hill Tracksters can walk any slower than 6kph and never, ever slow down when they start going uphill. There are rumours that this is a property of the garment itself, that the wearer will magically speed up on the mountain. But woe to he who wears the enchanted leggings as if he is not worthy, he will be pushed to his limit and end up spent and useless.

W – Wizened old man... this is that gnarly, stick thin male of indeterminate age but certainly over seventy, who usually overtakes you no matter how fast you are walking or running up the hill. Usually dressed in 70’s style, occasionally with red socks and/or gaiters and always with a green haversack or knapsack. Ask him about his rucsac and he’ll look you straight in the eye and ask you what ya dithering at lad? As the saying goes – no matter how fast you are, there’s probably someone faster, and it’s usually Wizened Old Man.... And if he's in tracksters, forget it!

And because i'm so proud of the continuity between those two, i may be forgiven for adding the following which will just never fit in with anything else...

X – Xylophone. Someone once carried a piano and an organ up Ben Nevis. I challenge them to carry a xylophone up Snowdon... Whilst being played by Patrick Moore... I’ll pay to see that. We’ve had the singer from the Alarm singing on the top, and i’ve camped at Glaslyn listening to someone play a trumpet excrutiatingly badly on summit, so this shouldn’t be much different.

D is for Decompose... This is what banana skins do not readily do on the hill! If it’s not a hastily and poorly hidden turd, then this is proably the most common human pollutant on the hill. I can almost understand the throwing of apple cores, something might well eat them. But the banana skin is well known as having very few natural predators. In fact, the only known predator are curious students who have listened to the rumour that they can smoke banana skins. As bananas, and the skins that enclose them are readily found in their environment, they are NOT likely to travel up Elidir Fawr to forage for skins. So please, even if you sincerely think you’re doing them a favour by leaving them on the hill, you’re not.

O is for orange... the peel of which students do not smoke so there is absolutely no reason to leave on the hill. Or OMG – expression when we see ill clad people on Snowdon, e.g. flip flops, high heels, etc.. Usually in snow..

And finally, often indistinguishable from an orange unless you examine closely -

S is for Scotch Egg – the food of kings. Any food that rolls has to be fine in my book. The appeal is one third greasy meat, one third egg and one third adrenaline rush that at any moment, your food could spill from your grasp and end up at the bottom of the mountain. It is said that the nutritional information on the packet is a fallacy and that one of these can sustain you for two or three days.

The first in a random A-Z of Snowdonia and Walking in absolutely no order or logic whatsoever.

H is for Hafod Eryri. This information centre near the summit of yr Wyddfa will always be known as “THE CAFF” despite the National Park Authority’s best attempt (a few speakers and posters) at making us think otherwise.

T is for the Train that spills thousands onto Snowdon Summit every year. At first you think you can spot the train passengers easily. They’re usually ill-clad for the mountain, high heels, street shoes and jeans, even though it’s pi****g it down. They don’t carry a pack, a carrier bag from Tesco is good enough for them, with a few bag for lifes. Often there’s a baguette poking from the top and you imagine there must be a red and white checked blanket in there as well. They stand on the summit, pose for ages while everyone else try in vain to get to the trig. Then they manage to get in your summit shot and knock over a few others as they make their way back to The Caff to eat their own sandwiches, but buy four cans of Stella to wash it down. They ignore the last call for the train, finish their sandwiches and stagger back down the path they came up on, wondering why on earth they’d possibly need any of that equipment recommended on the sign in the car park.